Book Review: QUIET: THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN’T STOP TALKING

•December 10, 2012 • Leave a Comment

QUIET:  THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN’T STOP TALKING  (Susan Cain, 333 pages)

I heard Susan Cain speak at a recent conference.  I bought her book and read it!  I’m glad I did!

Cain contends that many people pretend to be extroverts because that’s what society expects, admires, and promotes.  She says that some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them in energy, authenticity, and even physical health.   It’s difficult to be “a quiet person in a loudmouth world.” 

Cain says that much that has happened and continues to happen in the world is actually accomplished by introverts.  “Neither E=mc2 nor Paradise Lost was dashed off by a party animal.”  Some of the best leaders, thinkers, artists, CEO’s, preachers, scientists, etc., have been known not for their flash and charisma, but for their extreme humility and quietness.

QUIET covers a multitude of subjects such as societal norms and expectations, temperament, personality, communication, self-diagnosis, and how to cultivate quiet kids in world that can’t hear them (a great chapter, by the way).

Cain bases her conclusions on her own life experiences, her study of (sometimes very) technical data in this area and makes some introductory conclusions…

Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling; extroverts are drawn to the external life of people and activities.

Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves.

Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts recharge by socializing.

Introverts create their own stimulation; extroverts depend on outside sources of stimulation.

Introverts enjoy depth; extroverts enjoy breadth.

Introverts work more slowly and deliberately; are immune to the lures of wealth and fame; may enjoy parties and business meetings but after a while wish they were at home in their pajamas; enjoy deep discussions but have a horror of small talk.

Cain contends that often “teamwork” is not the way to go.  She reminds us that some people do better “by themselves” and she even criticizes public school education that demands students always work in “groups”.

Cain encourages introverts to honor their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.  She encourages introverts to “deploy the powers of quiet.”

“I am a horse for a single harness, not cut out for tandem or teamwork…for well I know that in order to attain any definite goal, it is imperative that ONE PERSON do the thinking and the commanding.”  (Albert Einstein)

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On Cain’s scale of introvertedness, I scored 15 out of 20.  Not surprising to me, I’m by nature an introvert.  I talk a lot because of the profession I’m in – not necessarily because I enjoy talking a lot!  This book gave me some peace about being who I am.   As a result, I made some specific determinations to ratchet down some of my verbal output and enjoy the quiet.

As a leader, Cain reminded me that “quiet leadership is not an oxymoron.”  Profound.

Check out the website.  http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

I highly recommend this book.

Posted in Book Reviews

Feeding on the wind…

•December 5, 2012 • 1 Comment

Still preaching from the Old Testament book of Hosea.  Interesting preacher, he.

Hosea 12: 1 lays down this indictment against Hosea’s congregants:  “Ephraim (Israel) feeds on the wind; he pursues the east wind all day…”

Apparently, Israel, much like us, especially at this holiday season, was a bustle of activity and a flurry of busyness.  Hosea likens their busyness to feeding the wind.   The east wind to which Hosea refers is the siroccoa wind in the original Hebrew language.  It is a strong and violent wind that would arise out of the east, bringing with it destruction and often death.  Hosea is equating their busyness to something that brings destruction and death.

Henry Ford once said he didn’t want executives who had to work all the time (sounds good to me!).  He insisted that those who were always in a flurry of activity at their desks were not being the most productive.  Ford wanted people who would clear their desks, prop their feet up, and dream some fresh dreams.  His philosophy was that only he who has the luxury of time can originate a creative thought.

I would submit to you that most often, those people who are always in a flurry of activity are not the most productive.  They are just feeding the wind.  Sadly, the wind they are feeding may be like the siroccoa wind of the Ancient Near East – destructive and deadly.

A thought before closing:  What have you done in the last seven days that actually had … significance?

Later.

Posted in Miscellaneous

Reflections on turning 50…

•November 26, 2012 • 2 Comments

Yep, turned 50 this past October 11.  Been waiting to see what it feels like before I posted any reflections.  Have yet to actually absorb the fact that I’ve lived for half a century.  Thought I’d post a few things I’ve learned in 50 years (I’m sure this is just the first installment of this post – sure I’ll think of more!)…but here goes…

My dad was much smarter than I gave him credit for and I miss him dearly.

Absolutely and positively grateful for church, music, books, and motorcycles.

I control nothing except my own personal choices.

Thirty-somethings who think they have it all figured out are so – cute.

Choose your path carefully – you may be on it a long time.

Wish I’d taken more time to play.

Be careful of the words that come out of your mouth.

Don’t waste time on people who don’t “get it”.

Life is really short.

Still find it hard to believe that the Almighty Creator of the Universe would give a hang about me – but I know He does.

Still find it hard to believe that the Almighty Creator of the Universe is so unbelievably patient with me – but he is.

That’s it for now…

Posted in Personal

I am thankful…

•November 22, 2012 • 2 Comments

I am thankful…

…that I am housed and not homeless…

…that I am fed and not hungry…

…that I am clothed and not naked…

…that I am befriended and not friendless…

… that I am with a great family and not alone…

…that I am accepted and not rejected…

…that I am forgiven and not condemned…

…that I will eat, drink, party, and dance with Jesus on streets of gold forever, and ever, and ever…

I am thankful

Posted in Thanksgiving

Like a twig on a river…

•November 19, 2012 • 2 Comments

So, I’ve been preaching through the Old Testament book of Hosea.  Interesting book, Hosea.

Yesterday I spoke from Hosea 10.  I won’t give you the whole message here but verse seven intrigues me:  “Samaria and its king will float away like a twig on the surface of the waters.”  Interesting thought, twigs on rivers.

Twigs on rivers…

…have been separated from the source of their life – the branch…

…have experienced unreconciled brokenness – from the branch…

…have no direction – just floating along…

…are at the mercy of the river – to take it wherever the river chooses…

…simply float away – never to be seen or heard from again.

I’m guessing many people live their lives like that – like twigs on a river.  Perhaps separated from the source of life;  perhaps living with unreconciled brokenness;  perhaps living with no direction, plans, objectives, focus;  perhaps at the mercy of whatever life or other people throw at them;  perhaps having no influence or impact – never to be seen or heard from again.

If you aim at nothing you will hit it every time (I think Zig Ziglar said that).

A couple of questions to ask yourself as 2012 draws to a close…

A.  What have I learned from 2012?

B.  How can I leverage what I’ve learned from 2012 to help me better plan and prepare for 2013?

C.  Do I have a ____________ plan?  (Fill in the blank:  financial, relationship, spiritual, career, self-development, etc.)

D.  Or, will I just float through 2013 like a twig on a river?

Interesting thought, that.

Posted in Uncategorized

Book Review: WHEN TO SPEAK UP AND WHEN TO SHUT UP

•November 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

TITLE:  When to speak up and when to shut up (c. 2003,  156 pages)

AUTHOR:  Dr. Michael D. Sedler  (www.michaelsedler.com)

PRICE:  $5.99

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I just happened to see this book at Wal-Mart and bought it.  I’m a pastor – I get paid to talk.  Being trained in the philosophy that “people are moved by noise and motion”, I talk a lot.  However, I’ve been learning that after a while people stop listening.  I’ve been learning that often silence communicates as much as speaking.  With all the “talk, talk, talk” that goes on in our lives each day, it behooves us to give some attention to the notion of talking less.  This book enriched my thinking about this subject philosophically and also gave me practical, applicable, hands-on ways to shift my ACTION in this area.

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Quotes:

“When confronted with the dilemma of whether to speak of be silent, be sure you have ample information with which to make a wise decision.”

“The more information I obtain and the greater the breadth of my perspective, the more accurate my responses will be.”

“Becoming angry is neither right nor wrong.  It is the manner in which we put our anger into action that creates the problem.”

“Silence may allow the truth to come forth on its own.”

“Your silence will probably be of greater impact than an emotional outburst.”

“Why defend?  Why justify?  Why try to explain when someone’s mind is made up?…Parents, children, leaders, employees, supervisors, pastors, are you listening?  There is a time to be silent.  It can bring comfort and inner peace when God has directed it.”

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I recommend this book.  A good investment for $5.99!

 

 

Posted in Book Reviews

Forgiveness…not for the weak

•November 8, 2012 • Leave a Comment

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

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Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?”  “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but  seventy-seven times…”  (Matthew 18:21-22)  In other words, Peter, don’t bother counting – just keep forgiving.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)  In other words, forgive like Jesus forgives you – over and over and over…

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Forgiveness isn’t the “American” way – we like revenge and retaliation.  Unfortunately, forgiveness doesn’t seem to be the “church” way either.

How many families, communities, and church folks are at odds today because pride, arrogance, ego, and disobedience to the command of Christ won’t allow them to forgive?

I wonder what our families, communities, churches, and world would look like if we chose to accept the truth of Ghandi’s words (the strong forgive) and chose to follow the imperative of Jesus (forgive as much as you have to forgive).

What if you forgave your parents?  Spouse?  Ex-spouse?  Children?  Neighbor?  Co-worker?  The Democrats?  The Republicans? Your self?  Your fellow church-member?  Me?

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(On another side of this:  I wonder what Jesus thinks when people ask us to forgive them … and we refuse?  I think he said something to the effect that if we don’t forgive others – he won’t forgive us.  Wow.  But we’ll save that for another blog.)

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Today.

Make that phone call.  Send that email.  Write that letter.  Make that appointment.

Are you strong enough to forgive?  Or are you a weakling?  You have a decision to make.

Forgive.

Today.

Posted in Forgiveness

Things pastors probably won’t hear in heaven…

•October 26, 2012 • 1 Comment

Things pastors probably won’t hear in heaven…

“I wish you’d have shown me more rapture charts and preached more on prophecy.”

“I wish you’d have preached more like those TV preachers.”

“I wish you’d have told me steps to making more money.”

“I wish you’d have done more skits / shown more videos in our worship services.”

“I wish you’d have preached more about politics.”

“I wish you’d have preached shorter sermons.”

“I wish you’d have worn ties…or suits…or jeans…or cooler shirts…”

“I wish you’d have pushed for a bigger building.”

“I wish you’d have given us better pop-culture references so we could have felt more ‘relevant’.”

“I wish you’d have made our worship ambiance better and the transitions in worship smoother.”

“I wish you’d have catered more to the American religious consumer mindset so we could have reached (stolen) more already-church-attending Christians from other churches so we could have made our church larger.”

“I wish you’d have not preached about grace so much.”

These are just a few…I’m guessing…

Posted in Church, Uncategorized

Friday Night Lights

•September 28, 2012 • 1 Comment

Things that gave me some “light” this week…

* Breakfast with a friend of 20 years Monday morning.  His courage to speak truth to his congregation (and to me) is amazing.  I’m jealous of it.

* My Life Group Monday night.  The dinner, dialogue, and discipleship is so very encouraging and enlightening.  I relish it.

* Sermon preparation Monday and Tuesday.  I never tire of God’s Word.  I delight in it.

* Yoga class Tuesday night.  Oops – didn’t go.  I regret it.

* The dentist on Wednesday morning.  Yes, the dentist.  I don’t like going to the dentist but God gave me the best dentist ever.  He and his staff are personal, professional, and … painless (usually!).  I appreciate it.

* Breakfast with a good friend Thursday morning.  His total acceptance of me is incredible.  I savor it.

* Lunch with a struggling friend Thursday afternoon.  His willingness to be honest and share his struggles is admirable.  I treasure it.

* Breakfast with another 20-year friend this morning.  His commitment to Christ, the Church, and his family is undeniable.  I admire it.

* Meeting with two of my church guys to discuss a future project today.  I anticipate it.

* My church’s willingness to conduct a 24-hour prayer vigil tonight through tomorrow night for the victims of human sex trafficking.  I’m humbled by it.

* My wife’s willingness to “understand” me (I’m very complicated).   I adore her for it.

I’m sure I left something or someone out…but these were just a few “lights” along my way this week.

Posted in Miscellaneous

Chick-Fil-A and Homosexuals

•July 30, 2012 • 8 Comments

OK, so I’ve waited to say anything about this Chick-Fil-A / Homosexual controversy so I could give both sides time to weigh in.  Everybody has a right to their opinions – I’ve listened to yours – here’s mine…

1.  Dan Cathy had every right to share his opinion about homosexuality – this is America.

2.  Those who disagree with Dan’s opinion have every right to disagree – this is America.

3.  For the homosexual community to plan “kiss-ins” at Chick-Fil-A restaurants is junior high-ish at best.  It’s hard to take you seriously when your response is that juvenile.

4.  For the homosexual community to boycott Chick-Fil-A is also a meaningless enterprise.  Boycotts don’t work.  Ask the Southern Baptist Convention (who boycotted Disney a few years ago) – didn’t even put a dent in Mickey Mouse’ bottom line.

5.  Didn’t really appreciate Dan’s comment about “being married to our first wives”.  While that’s honorable and certainly biblical and I even support it, there are many Americans who can’t claim that honor, myself included.  The comment was a bit alienating for some of us divorcees.  (Imagine I’ll get some feedback on that one).  Let me hasten to say, though, that I still have the utmost respect for Dan Cathy and his opinion … and his freedom to share it.

6.  I will not eat at Chick-Fil-A any less … or any more … because of the recent controversy.  They have wonderful products served by courteous people that I will continue to enjoy – not because of the “stand” they take on anything, but because I simply enjoy their products.

7.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chick-Fil-A doesn’t refuse service to anyone because of their personal preferences (i.e.  sexual orientation).  They treat every customer with respect and dignity.

8.  The media is good at stirring stuff up.  I predict (and I could be wrong – have been numerous times before) that in the next few days this whole thing will blow over and the media will be on to the next money-making news story.  Chick-Fil-A will continue to be the generous, excellent, Christian, and financially sound company they’ve always been (I predict they will continue to grow even stronger in every way).  The homosexual community will continue forward as well.

9.  I keep asking myself, “What would Jesus do in this situation?”.  I know many think they have the answer.  Me?  Not so much.  I read what Jesus said (you know,  all that “love  your enemy”, “pray for your enemy”, “go the extra mile” stuff) and really don’t know how to reconcile situations such as this one in my mind.  I’m not condoning homosexuality.   I believe homosexuality is not a biblically acceptable lifestyle – just like gossip, lying, manipulating, stealing, causing division, greed, selfishness, hypocrisy, self-righteousness, adultery, dishonesty, and any one of a thousand other sins that even church members commit on a weekly basis.  I’m just trying to give serious biblical thought to it … and my response to it.

10.  If my reservations and questions aren’t “strong” enough for you, I’m sorry.  If I don’t take a strong enough “stand” for you, I’m sorry.  I’d just ask you to please respect where I am in my own journey.  I can’t get away from the principle of love that Jesus taught – I’m sorry.

11. Like a Chick-Fil-A restaurant, everyone is welcome at the church I pastor.  The broken, the confused, the hurting, the self-righteous, the addicted, the seeking, the big wigs and the low-lifes, the rich and the poor, the religious and the not-so-religious, those who think they’ve figured it all out and those who don’t have a clue, and, yes, the straight and the gay – all welcome at our church.  We are ALL BROKEN PEOPLE yet God loves every single one of us (regardless of sexual orientation … or religious affiliation) and wants to put us back together through the magnanimous Cross-work of his Son, Jesus Christ.

12.  Thanks for letting me share my opinion.  The journey continues…

Posted in Miscellaneous

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